Necessary Cold Weather Gear III

Gigantic arteries carrying warm, oxygen-rich blood are totally exposed because you aren't covering your collar area! Thanks to SCIENCE we now know that covering something warm is "insulating" and will prevent a loss of heat. Use this to your advantage with one of the following neck warmers.

This is a scarf.

I made this one. (in my shop on etsy)
It's a very long rectangle that keeps you warm. It's very easy to wear because it is so versatile. You can wrap it, fold it, tie it, and let it hang free. If it's long enough you can wrap your head, neck and hands all at the same time!

Oh. I see. Too many places around you for it to get caught. That's fine. Why not try this one on for size?

This is a cowl.

This is by Mandizzle, a teammate of Cleveland Handmade.
It's like a scarf because it hangs around your neck, but it's connected into a continuous circle. The hanging bits that would have gotten caught are now taken care of. Once again, you can wrap it more than once if it's large enough and cover your head.

One size fits all isn't your style, eh? Well, la-di-da, I can STILL help you!

This has a multitude of names. Dickie, collar, turtleneck. Invent your own name if you like.

This is by Katrinchen on etsy.
Granted, this is a unitasker, but I assume you've read the previous two entries and have warm heads, ears, and hands by now.

You ARE properly warmed by various fashionable yet functional outdoor apparel, aren't you? Well stay tuned! I've a lot yet to say and display about that cold neck.

Necessary Cold Weather Gear II

Your little digits look a little cold there, chief. Ever think about covering those suckers up? Ah. Pockets. Yes that's a good place for them most of the time. What will you do when you have to pull them out of your pockets to fiddle with keys, bags, hair, and everything else in the world with which you need to interact? Got you there, didn't I?

These are mittens.

These were made by Etsy teammate Caffeinated Frenzy
They cover your whole hand and keep your piggies warm! Frostbite should fear your cold weather gear! Oh you say you'd rather be able to move your fingers around. That's not a problem.

These are gloves.

This pair was embellished by another teammate Raging Wool
There you see? Now your fingers are still warm, but they're all separate so you can still feel the freedom of flying fingers.

What? You want to be able to touch the things you're fiddling with? Well, we can help there too.

These are fingerless gloves.

Look! Your fingers are free, they're exposed, you can touch things like your ipod and your iphone and your eyeball. Have I convinced you yet to dress warmly and keep your poor little ticklers cozy?

Next I'll have a thing or two to say about that exposed neck area. (And I'll really be getting excited about my project HINT HINT)

Necessary Cold Weather Gear

We are DEEP into winter now in the Northern Hemisphere and yet I'm still sometimes seeing otherwise sane people choosing a hoodie and sweatshirt pairing to brave the elements. I shall assume that this is a matter of blissful ignorance and therefore offer this guide in hopes that one of the offenders will read it and realize the common sense of the matter. I'm also winding myself down into my big project for the coming year.

This is a hat.

This one was made by my friend and Etsy teammate LaztTCrochet.
See how it hangs out on top of the head? See how it covers up the ears to keep your little hearing dudes warm? It's very useful for preventing the heat that rises up out of your head from escaping.

Oh you don't want to mess up your hairdo? Well how about one of these?

This is a headband or ear warmer.

This one was made by yours truly.
You'll notice this time that the crown of the head is uncovered so it won't upset your hair. But it still covers the ears! You won't have to worry about your cold red ears falling off if they are kept warm and normal colored!

What's that? You're STILL worried about your hair?

Fine fine.

These are earmuffs.

This pair is available from The Perfect Present.

Now you really can't argue with that right? It's the absolute bare minimum you can wear and still keep your side-flaps from freezing right off your head.

Next time, we'll talk about things that keep your hands warm.

Survival Guide: Velociraptors

I had a dream that Velociraptors existed and were hungry for the human race. If my dreams are actually premonitions, then you'll be glad you're reading this.

What to do when Velociraptors attack

First, let us assess our situation. Let us assume that assumptions made in current books and movies are correct or else we're already in deep doo.

• Velociraptors are fast.
  
• Velociraptors can learn.
• Velociraptors eat humans.

Next let us assess our own abilities. There are three basic survival instincts built into nearly all beings. Fight. Run. Hide. Velociraptors are clearly bigger, stronger, and built with more sharp things than humans. Fighting would be unwise. Velocity is right in the name! Naturally, running is out. Therefore through the process of elimination, hiding is our best strategy.

Proper Hiding Procedure

Hiding: To place oneself in a location or position unknown to another.

The most important thing to remember about hiding is that it is both a skill and an art. You can learn the skill and be quite proficient, but you must camouflage with your soul and your heart before you become a true master.

Common hiding places include around corners, behind trees, in closets, under beds, and other often cramped but closed off places. While these are very good places to hide when death is not at stake, we must take a slightly different approach when dealing with these most dangerous of beasts.

Because Velociraptors can learn, they will likely recognize anything that is door-like in appearance and they will take special care to check those places for your delicious flesh. I suggest that you find something that doesn't look like a door yet still functions as a door and hide therein.

One example of such a sneaky door would be the pull down ladder attic. Velociraptors have small claw hands with very little fine motor skills. The dangling string which one would use to pull down this trap-style door would be nearly impossible for a Velociraptor to grab hold. Just to be safe, when you pull the door up, tuck that dangling string in. When using this hiding place, be as still as possible. A Raptor's acute sense of hearing will pick up the creaky boards and be your undoing. I suggest taking a seat with a friend and playing some nice quiet card games until the reptilian hunting party takes leave.

Another example of a sneaky door is the angled attic door. These are most often seen in older houses with an extra half story. The second floor of such a house usually has at least one angled ceiling. The attic door is sometimes a recessed panel opening upwards into the space. If you choose to hide in one of these doors, be sure to strategically place a strap of fabric in the lower corner of the door so that you have a handle to open the door back up. This type of door often has no handle on the inside, so without this fabric strip, you may find yourself well hidden, but also quite trapped.

Trapdoor basements provide an excellent hiding place. Not only is the trapdoor not likely to be recognized as a door by a Velociraptor, but by attatching a rug to the top of the trapdoor, you can make this camouflaged door even more effective. In addition, lifting is a weak point for the Raptor. They would have a great deal of trouble opening the trapdoor in the first place. As a final bonus, your basement can be heavily stocked with canned and dried goods for long term survival situations.

Take the time to look around your home, apartment, or neighborhood for good hiding places.

Special Notes:
Do not let a Velociraptor see you opening these sneaky doors! They are learning creatures and will begin looking for sneaky doors.

Please take special care not to hide in plain sight! Velociraptors differ from Tyrannosaurs in that standing still does not make you invisible to them!

When fighting is the only option

If you are out on an open plain with nowhere to hide, you may need to fight as a last resort. Please consider this advice.

Do not run. Stand your ground and face your enemy. You cannot outrun a Velociraptor and you'll only be exposing your delicious spinal cord. You will need some sort of weapon. In order from most effective to least effective are explosives, firearms, crossbows, swords, and clubs. Because these first three are obvious in their use and to be used at a distance, I will only cover techniques in hand to hand combat.

A Velociraptor's weakest joints are the point at which its head meets its neck and the ankles. Naturally, I am speaking comparatively. The entire body is a force of muscle and sinew, but these are the places you should focus on.

With a club or blunt object: It is necessary for the bludgeoning object to at least double your reach. Your goal is to get the Velociraptor on the ground and to knock it out. Velociraptors have very strong skulls, so it will be necessary for you to aim carefully at the base of the skull to be most effective. You only have one chance for success. When the Raptor leaps, swing across your body not unlike a baseball stance and try to make contact either with the clawed feet or the side of the head. If you make contact, quickly aim a downward blow at the base of the skull. It will likely take multiple swings to subdue your foe.

With a sword or machete: It is again absolutely necessary that your sharp object be at least as long as your arm to double your reach. A Velociraptor is likely to jump when it attacks. Brace yourself, and carefully time your swing. Your swing should be a large fast motion perpendicular to your stance. When the ankles are in range, swing upwards to sever the tendons at the back of the heel and throw off the balance of the jumping beast while at the same time, stepping sideways so as not to be knocked down by the forward force of the Velociraptor's body.. If you've timed your swing carefully and your sword was sharp enough to cause the mentioned damage, you should then take another swing at the head. The ideal situation would have you beheading the creature and posing dramatically over its body.

Congratulations

You have just completed this survival guide. If you meet a Velociraptor and survive the tale with help from this guide, please share your tale that we all may take pride in your success.

Tips from a Buyer /Seller on Craft Shows

This was a very long Etsy post I made that I thought should be preserved here in hopes that any stray readers will find it helpful.

Craft Show Advice from an Amateur Seller and a Pro Buyer!
(or A Craft Show Survival Guide)

I have been to my fair share of craft shows and I rarely leave empty handed. I have participated in a few as well on an amateur level and I'm happy to share my advice based on my experience as both a buyer and a seller.

Things you should definitely have on hand:

--LOTS of Inventory! If you didn't bring it, you can't sell it and it's horrible to run out of product knowing there are still people who would've bought on the spot but aren't interested in waiting.
--Bags/boxes for purchases
--Business cards if you have them to encourage repeat customers and promote your online shop as well if you have one.
--Paper, pens/pencils for keeping track of your sales, taking custom order information or anything that comes up
--Calculator for the big buyers
--A hefty cash drawer to make change
--A reliable friend to watch your booth while you use the bathroom or get a drink (more talkative the better, they have to sweet talk your buyers when you're away!)
--A nice table cover to hide the unsightly folding table that will likely be provided.
--Your craft show contract. You never know who will ask to see it to make sure you've got your t's and i's crossed and dotted.

Things that it would be to have nice if you can swing it:

--A stool. Being elevated even when seated gives you a better business presence than a chair. Your buyers will be standing after all and you don't want to have them looking down to you. If you can, stand as much as possible.
--A receipt book. It rarely comes up in small local craft shows, but some people who make a big purchase will want a receipt, so it's useful to have on hand. (If you're doing a juried event, I would move this suggestion into the must have category.)
--Your knuckle buster. If you have a propay account or another way to take credit cards, definitely have it with you. Do not take information and use your paypal account however. This is against their terms or use and can lock your account or possibly land you a fine or a sentence :(
--Snacks. You're likely in for a longish day. Having a snack will keep you at your table with your customers more of the time, just be careful to be discreet when you eat. If people think you're making a crummy mess, that will affect the way they see your work.
--Your mannequin. If there is room for it in your designated area, bring it! Change the outfit throughout the show. A manny really gets great attention!
--Tall slender shelving that is safe to stand on the tables. Vertical tables tend to attract more attention. If you have space behind your booth, consider using the area as a display for more products or for your banner if you have one.
--Vendor's license. I know not everyone on Etsy/Artfire/etc has one which is why it's currently in this category. You never know who will ask to see yours. (If this is a juried show, make this a must have)

Things to avoid:

--As much as I hate to say it, avoid crafting. It's great to demonstrate that you are the artist, but it prevents you from engaging your customers and takes your eyes away from your table and onto your hands. If you can do it without looking, go ahead, but make sure you're available the very moment someone needs you.
--Long conversations primarily with your reliable friend that came along. Some folks won't want to interrupt and it's a potential sale loss.
--Don't start taking your items down until the show is over! Last minute sales are always lurking! If you choose you can also offer discounts for the last half hour to help move merchandise. That's up to you of course.
--Don't block your table. Stand to the side or behind so that you're never a wall between your customers and your products.

What to do while you're there:

--Smile... a lot. A really lot! Engage your potential buyers. Don't hard sell, just be friendly and willing to answer questions and encourage them to touch your creations if it's clothing and try things on if it's jewelry.
--Be friendly to your neighboring craft tables. Maybe you'll spark a trade. Maybe you'll spark a collaboration! Or a get a discount. Who knows?
--Make sure all your items prices are easy to find. Not everyone will ask and that is a potential lost sale.
--If you plan on taking checks, ask for a driver's license and a phone number. The phone number will get you in touch with them if the check bounces and the driver's license number will get authorities in touch with them if they go AWOL. I hope this never happens to you :) Most people at handmade shows are completely trustworthy and responsible!
--Browse. Before the doors open, shop around. You won't be tempted to leave your stall during the show this way!
--Buy. If you see something you love, support your local artists! They will likely support you in return by advertising word of mouth and visiting your stall at some point.
--If you enjoy haggling and you will still make a profit, go for it. If your prices are firm, be firm. It's your business model and you're free to choose.

*Above all!*
--Be Positive. This is different than just smiling. Even if you're hardly selling at all and your back hurts and you're hungry, speak as if you've had the most profitable day ever, you feel like a teen again and you're as satisfied as can be. "I'm having a great time!" is your mantra.

If you're having a craft show soon, I hope you have a great time and many sales!